Currently: October 4, 2016
Today's rain carries more characteristics to early spring weather because green spaces are still abundant against the gray sky. Fall has arrived though and days when the sky opens up set me in a desire to close my eyes and listen to sounds that mix well with the drops falling to the roof, so here are some of my favorites today: Sufjan Stevens. Bon Iver. The Apache Relay. Air Traffic Controller. The Lumineers. The National. Houndmouth. Typhoon. Take in the rain. Take in the sound.
Sufjan Stevens — "Futile Devices"
Bon Iver — "29 #Strafford APTS"
The Apache Relay — "Can't Wake Up"
Air Traffic Controller — "You Know Me"
The Lumineers — "Ophelia"
The National — "Fake Empire"
Houndmouth — "Sedona"
Typhoon — "Summer Home"
The season is one of bravery.
Lately fear seems to be a weed baring its thorny teeth as it slowly constricts the garden of my heart's bravery. Somehow I've given fear permission to nestle its roots into my brain and it whispers things like: "You aren't brave enough to crawl out of this rut of directionless living! Any decision you make will be rash and you'll go to the wrong place just because you crave movement! You're going to fail and fall hard! You will find desolate loneliness because you don't have a map! You're not the brave person your campers thought you were this summer."
Sometimes humans have seasons of their lives that rest at the dead center of balance between fear and bravery. If we stay in the middle, we'll starve. There won't be movement. We can give into fear but its thorny teeth will gnaw away at hope — I don't want that for myself anymore, and I don't wish that for you. It's a mighty task to yank out fear's roots but it can be done. It starts with surrender.
Late last night I made a list of the things that could happen if I can be brave enough to hand the lies that are whispering in my brain over to God and allow Him to use me in any way He desires.
I won't just speak bravery, I'll leave footprints of it behind me as I walk. I'll find growth in the waiting as I make decisions based on God's still, small voice when I hear it, partnered with the counsel of trusted friends and family. Maybe being brave will cause my heart to evolve into its fullest capacity. The actions that follow might bring light to this world that grows cloudier every day.
Maybe I'll write a book. Maybe I'll create content that fulfills my desire to show humans that they're worthy, seen, valuable, loved and brave. My camp friend Meghan spoke some powerful words to me the other day: "Kate, words are your bravery. Your words make other people embrace bravery. Share it with the world."
I just started Jennie Allen's bible study called "Discover God's Dream for You" on the YouVersion app. She shared that King David's desire to seek God's heart and will allowed him to live a passionate life that changed the history of the world. Acts 13:36 says, "After David served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep." David fell asleep, but not until he chose to serve God's unique purpose for his life.
I don't want to sleepwalk through my days on earth. I don't want to waste the breaths I take by falling into a hole of something without meaning.
More than anything, I want a job that lets God use my brave pieces for a purpose. I want to live a passionate life of seeking beauty. I crave a fearless courage that leads to the doing.
That's hard to explain to people because realistically speaking, an adult needs a job to make the monthly payments for an apartment, a car, student loans and all the other expenses that allow comfortable living. That's important and necessary for functioning in society and I understand that fully.
I'm not trying to romanticize an unrealistic lifestyle and I will be smart, but I want to walk with a faith trusting that things will indeed work out for beauty and responsibility. An equal balance of faith and realism, methodically and intentionally decided (which unfortunately is a slow process for me). I think letting the seed of bravery grow high enough to turn the doorknob is what I need for the way my heart works, opening the door to let realism mesh with God's purpose for me being in this generation.
In attempt to only speak truth, I still feel like I'm in the center between fear and bravery. I could be pulled either way but as I study bravery more and more, fear is being conquered. A life of bravery is like stepping off a cliff without the foggiest idea of what's coming next, but carrying faith that your hands, turned up in constant praise, will be grasped tightly so you cannot fall.
I encourage you to write two lists. One of your fears and anxieties, the others of what could happen if you surrender those to let God lead your steps. Realize that your fears are feelings and your dreams are actions. Actions are stronger than feelings. God has called us to be brave in purpose, and we're equipped to work on whatever that purpose is. This season for me is one of a working bravery. Maybe it's yours too.
Much love,
Kate
Currently: September 27, 2016
If there's one thing you'll catch me nerding about besides fonts, it's Harry Potter. No shame. With all the scary stuff going on in the world and the serious election day nearing, the Patronus quiz on Pottermore seemingly unveiled at the golden hour. I found myself watching my otter travel through the dark woods and an undeniable wave of calm surprisingly washed over my anxious mind. A person's Patronus is a guardian built on a memory of absolute happiness, meant to protect against dark things like dementors (and maybe Trump). I grew up with the story and having a Patronus now is kind of magical.
While the Patronus quiz was the most sentimental thing popping up this week, I found a few more that you might like! Click the italics for more details on everything. Enjoy the last few days of September, friends. It's almost time to break out those $3 Goodwill cardigans.
Pottermore Patronus
Memories of my childhood adventures with Harry, Ron and Hermione flooded back when my otter appeared from the silver cloud. Growing up, I felt a kinship with Hermione that never dissipated, so sharing a Patronus with a girl I so frequently wished to be friends with did mean something to me, even now as a 23-year-old. Also an otter supposedly means play, laughter and feminine wisdom. Nerd ramble over. Still no shame.
Did you take the quiz? What's your Patronus?
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
I recently bought this daily devo after my sweet camp friend Morgan showed me her copy over the summer. The content is essentially a short note written from Jesus' perspective and the daily words seem to strike my heart in exactly the right way — there are also a few verses on each page to supplement the content. The gold page detailing strikes my heart too. Invest in this book if you're looking for daily initiative to get into the Word. I recommend fully!
I've been a longtime listener to Sufjan Stevens and when I heard this song a few days ago, I closed my eyes and let the sounds resonate to my soul. Not often that a song truly digs into my heart but "Death With Dignity" did.
Learning to Be
I stumbled across a blog called "That First Year: Tidbits and Tales from that First Year after College and Beyond," and so many of the words make me shout, "YES! Me too!" If any of you readers are newly out of college and navigating the waters of the actual adult world, take a look here for some sweet words of encouragement.
Selfoss Cake
How exquisite is this cake?? It's also Icelandic and if you remember my very first Currently post, Iceland is at the top of my "to-travel to" list. Photographer and author Jen Jacobs says this of the cake in her blog: "Iceland is another planet. A moonscape of ice blue, jet black, and neon green. While co-leading a visual storytelling workshop last year, we spent the days on the road exploring. One of our first stops was the small town of Selfoss for coffee and a cocoa-whipped meringue pie studded with chocolate-covered raisins, boiled peanuts and a drizzle of honey. As we traveled through the West Fjords and the southwest coast, we found meringue cakes in nearly every café we visited, but I fell hardest for the slice in Selfoss. This is my interpretation of that dessert."
Skimm the Vote
While this is the last bit for this week's Currently post, it's the most important. There are no excuses to not vote in a few weeks. There's a lot riding on this election and hopefully that sank in after last night's debate. The Skimm has made it easier than shaving your legs to double check you're registered and ready to go. You can apply for an absentee ballot if you want. Just vote. It's your right and it matters.